The night before, we went to dinner with my parents, who were visiting from Evansville, IN, about 2.5 hours away. Since we planned to labor at home and deliver at the hospital, we needed my mom to come down to Nashville and watch our 15 month old son, Michael, during my labor and delivery. It would have been convenient for my labor to begin during their visit to ensure that she would get to our house in time to help. They were headed home the next morning, so we were disappointed that Isaac hadn’t arrived yet. I started feeling some contracting on the drive home from dinner, but I assumed it was from the bumpy car ride since I’d often feel contractions in the car.
At 6 a.m., I awoke to more intense contractions -- intense enough that I couldn’t sleep through them. I remained in bed and tried to relax, as instructed by my doula, Gaylea McDougal. From 6 to 9 a.m., my contractions became more frequent. I thought, “Maybe today is the day.” I remember sitting on the edge of my bed, putting my feet on the floor, and looking in the mirror. I took one last good look at my huge belly, brought my hands to either side of my navel, and told Isaac, “I think I’m going to meet you today.” I texted Gaylea to let her know that I thought I “might” be in labor. I told her I was sure it would be hours before we would need her assistance, so it would be fine for her to head to church. I thought we had a lot of time because Damon (my husband) and I worked together at home for over 20 hours before Gaylea began assisting us during Michael’s labor. Michael’s labor and delivery lasted 49 hours. We didn’t think Isaac’s labor would be that long, but we definitely thought it would take some time. Also, our doctor told us that Isaac was very low, so we should head to the hospital when my water breaks, and my membranes had not ruptured.
I called my mom to see if they could come by our house. I knew they had to go back to Evansville that morning because my nephew and his friend were with them, and the kids had school the next day. I didn’t want my mom to drive all the way home and have to turn around and come back. So, we thought it might be a good idea for Michael to go with them to Evansville. By the time my parents arrived at our house, I was really conflicted. I had Braxton Hicks contractions before. I didn’t want to send Michael if this was false labor, but I knew it would be too intense for him to stay if I was truly in labor. I became really emotional, and we decided it was best for Michael to go with them. My parents said they would bring him back the next day, which made me feel a lot better since I have a difficult time being away from Michael.
I have to mention one funny thing that happened while they were at our house. I was running around with my mom, trying to put a bag together for Michael. Meanwhile, my 14 year old nephew and his friend were playing Wii. Apparently, only one controller worked. So who do they come to for batteries?????? ME! I’m leaning over the kitchen counter, having a contraction, trying to explain that we have batteries, but I just can’t get to them right now. So, they will have to take turns with the controller that works. I hope I have this much patience when my boys are teenagers. Okay, on with the story!
Michael left with my parents around 11:30, and my contractions were getting stronger. At some point, I told Damon, that we should head to our bed. When birthing with the Bradley Method, the suggested laboring position uses pillows in bed. We continued laboring in bed. Damon was watching football and timing my contractions. As the pain became worse, I asked Damon to pray with me. I wrote this prayer in preparation for Isaac’s birth and asked my husband to read it:
“Lord,
Please align the systems of my body.
Please keep my blood pressure low.
Please perfectly position Isaac for delivery.
Please divinely initiate and carry out the labor process.
Please prevent me from tearing.
Please allow my husband and Gaylea to surround me during delivery.
Please allow my mother to be able to arrive in time to care for my son, Michael, during labor and delivery.
Lord,
Please allow Isaac to be healthy and happy upon his arrival into this world.
In Your name we pray.
Thank you, Lord!”
I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and told Damon I wanted to get in the tub. I suggested he eat some lunch. After all, food is fuel for a day’s work. He suggested I eat too, but I told him that I had some ice cream cake earlier and wasn’t hungry. Damon headed downstairs, and I got in the tub. Unfortunately, this did not help. When my contractions hit, I felt very claustrophobic. The tub was too small, and I couldn’t get out fast enough!
Around 1 p.m., Damon returned to find me on the toilet, crying and moaning in pain. I was moaning in low tones, as instructed in Bradley birthing. The contractions were so intense that I was really struggling. Damon suggested we go ahead and call Gaylea for back up. I called her but was in too much pain to talk. Gaylea told Damon she would come over now.
We moved to the bedroom, but I couldn’t get in the bed. I was on the floor, pushing all my weight into it with each contraction. Damon applied counter pressure on my back and used words of support to help. I felt like I was having two types of contractions. The front wave would hit and was extremely intense. On a scale of 1 to 10, it was a 100. Then, a second wave would hit my lower back and bottom. In retrospect, I believe the secondary pain was caused by me holding the baby in when he wanted to come out.
Gaylea couldn’t get here fast enough. I really needed help with my pain, and I knew I wanted to go to the hospital as soon as we hit 7 cm. I was hoping that all Gaylea would need to do upon arrival is check the baby’s heart rate and my cervix, then we could head to the hospital. With Michael, I was at 3-4 cm after 27 hours of labor. If I were at 7 cm in 8 hours today, that would be an impressive day’s work.
Gaylea arrived around 2 p.m., and I was back on the toilet. She helped me into the bedroom, but I didn’t want to go. I leaned into the wall, and it felt so good to press into it. I felt very bizarre and remember saying, “I love the way this wall feels.” Damon and Gaylea managed to get me to lie down on the bedroom floor. Gaylea checked the baby’s heart rate, which was good. Then, she checked my cervix. I was near complete, and my contractions were only 60-90 seconds apart. She suspected transition and encouraged me to move downstairs. It took awhile to get me up, and they tried to get clothes on me. My mind was gone. All my brain could handle was getting through each contraction. It was as if I was only partly present in the situation, and part of me was somewhere else. They tried to get me to go down the steps, but I headed to another bathroom instead. I didn’t want to get off the toilet.
They finally got me to the steps. I stopped on the way down with an incredibly painful contraction. Damon told me not to stop like that because I could get hurt. I couldn’t help it. They were telling me that we needed to get in the car and go to the hospital, but I just couldn’t do it. My instinct was fighting against what they were saying. I became hysterical at one point, screaming, “We waited too long! We waited too long!” Thankfully, they were able to calm me down.
They got me downstairs, and I immediately headed into the bathroom. I was grunting, and Gaylea instructed me to blow or use horse lips through the contractions. I did as she instructed, but it wasn’t enough to stop the urge to push. The baby was coming. This didn’t make sense because my water had not broken, and my doctor said, “Come to the hospital when your water breaks.” Gaylea checked my cervix, and I could no longer control the urge to push. I was nearly 10 cm with anterior lip, 100% effaced, and at a +2 station. There was no way we would make it to the hospital in time. Gaylea looked me in the eyes and said, “You can have this baby anywhere.” At that time, I didn’t realize “anywhere” meant “right here, right now”.
Damon called the ambulance. We hoped the ambulance would get here in time to take me to the hospital so I could deliver there. They moved me to the couch because it is not safe to have a baby over the toilet.
I was squatting on the couch, and Damon was on the phone with 911. I could feel God’s presence surround us. I had complete faith in Damon and Gaylea. Afterwards, I thanked God for Damon’s medical training. He hadn’t delivered a baby since medical school, some eight years ago. However, it was as if a switch clicked within him. In an instant, he went from my coach to my doctor. I never wavered in my faith in my husband. I knew he would get us through this. I would never wish for him to have the stress of delivering our child, and we will do everything we can to make sure we do not have another home birth because of the additional risk factors of unplanned home birthing. I know he must have been afraid, but I felt no fear in those moments. I could feel God all around us. I knew we were safe in His hands.
Damon ran to unlock the door for EMS and grab towels from upstairs. He returned to the couch and managed to hold the phone to his ear with his shoulder while delivering the baby. Afterwards, he told me that he only heard about 10% of what the dispatcher was telling him. (We’d like to get a copy of the 911 tape because we’re sure it is pretty entertaining.) As I pushed, Gaylea applied pressure to the perineum to prevent tearing. It felt so good to push. In between the contractions, I was hit with the ring of fire. (Imagine the worst pain you’ve ever felt and multiply times 1,000,000. Then, you’ll have the ring of fire.) I pleaded with Damon & Gaylea to take Isaac out, but they said I would have to wait for the next contraction. They encouraged me to PUSH!!!!!
Within minutes, Isaac Rockne Abaray arrived, delivered into his daddy’s hands. Damon quickly removed the cord that was looped around Isaac’s neck. It was 3:16 p.m. It took less than 15 minutes to push him out. I’d say 15 minutes is a good amount of work for Isaac’s first day in this world.
Isaac weighed 9 lbs, 1 oz, and was 20¼ inch long. We found his pre-birth nickname “The Rock” to be quite fitting. He had a full head of beautiful black silky hair and dark blue eyes. His eyes were so dark that they looked brown in the center. His head did not form the “football” shape you often see when a baby is delivered. Instead, it was perfectly round, like a coconut. In the weeks prior to his birth, I often said to Damon, “It feels like there’s a coconut between my legs.” Turns out, that was pretty accurate.
It took Isaac a few seconds to take his first breath, as we rubbed his back and spoke to him. Gaylea and Damon encouraged me to take deep breaths during that time since I was still breathing for Isaac. My heart was motionless until I heard Isaac’s first little sounds. I can’t even begin to explain how I felt the moment I heard his voice. It was a blessing to my ears. I will never forget it.
Everything happened so fast, and it was a very shocking experience. I don’t even know when my membranes ruptured. We assume my water broke as Isaac was delivered. Gaylea had taken my shirt off to wrap the baby in. I lay naked on the couch, with only my child as a shield, when the firemen entered my living room. Someone put a blanket over Isaac & I. No one could find the OB kit to tie off the umbilical cord, so Damon turned into MacGyver. He grabbed his sneaker and removed the shoestring to tie the cord. He’s pretty amazing! I delivered the placenta at 3:26 p.m. It was very painful to deliver because, unlike the baby, the placenta was not helping to get itself out. At 3:40, the ambulance arrived and took us to the hospital. I was nervous about anything being left inside my body because I really didn’t want to have surgery to remove any placenta remnant. Luckily, Damon delivered the placenta perfectly so there was no need for a D&C (Dilation and Curettage), which is a brief surgical procedure in which the cervix is dilated and a special instrument is used to scrape the uterine lining. I do wish we had a picture of the nurse’s face when she found that shoestring in the placenta bag! She asked, “Did someone use a shoestring to tie the umbilical cord?” Gaylea, Damon, and I all responded, “Yes”, as if it was no big deal.
We planned for Isaac’s birth. I re-read much of my Bradley Method book, I did my Bradley exercises daily for 9 months, I exercised regularly throughout the pregnancy, we hired a doula, we went to all my OB visits, we learned about our laboring options and developed a “birth plan” for our child. We thought we were prepared. We had a “plan”.
Our “plan” mattered little because God had His own plan, and the most important preparation of all was prayer. During the weeks prior to Isaac’s arrival, I read the prayer above each night. When my labor pains became extremely intense, my husband read this prayer over me. After Isaac arrived, we reflected on this prayer and became filled with joy and thankfulness.
If you look back at the prayer I wrote, you’ll see that God did everything we asked. (Well, I did have a small tear, but that was nothing compared to the tears I had from Michael’s birth.) God was with us throughout Isaac’s birth journey. It wasn’t my “day’s work”. It was the Lord’s.
I end this story as I ended our prayer above, “Thank you, Lord!”
(In case you were wondering, the only thing in our house that required “replacing” as a result of the day’s events was … the shoestring.)
