Quinoa With Beets & Brussels

Why eat Quinoa?  For starters, it has "high nutritive value, impressive biodiversity, and an important role to play in the achievement of food security worldwide." (whfoods.org).  It's an excellent anti-inflammatory and is heart healthy.  It is rich in nutrients and can be used in a variety of dishes.

This is an excellent dish that can be paired with a variety of meats or fish.  It is pictured with sliced pork tenderloin.

Ingredients:

Quinoa

Olive Oil

Brussel Sprouts (12-20, depends on size of sprouts)

Aunt Nellie's Pickled Sliced Beets.  (If you can find red and yellow beets, even better!)

Softened Goat Cheese

To Prepare:

1.  Rinse and Cook 1 Cup of Quinoa As Directed on Quinoa Package.

2.  Slice brussel sprouts and cook in pan of olive oil (You want to have a light brown sear on the open side of the brussel sprouts, and they should be soft when cooked through.)

3.  Mix cooked Quinoa and Brussels and place on plate.

4.  Add a few scoops of softened goat cheese to taste.

5. Accompany with slices of pickled beets. 

6.  Serve and Enjoy!

A Day’s Work: The Birth Journey of Isaac Rockne Abaray

            It’s 6 a.m.  Many people are waking up, perhaps having their morning coffee, thinking about the day ahead.  Some are already on their way to work.  At this time on October 9, 2011, a day’s work had just begun. 

The night before, we went to dinner with my parents, who were visiting from Evansville, IN, about 2.5 hours away.  Since we planned to labor at home and deliver at the hospital, we needed my mom to come down to Nashville and watch our 15 month old son, Michael, during my labor and delivery.  It would have been convenient for my labor to begin during their visit to ensure that she would get to our house in time to help.  They were headed home the next morning, so we were disappointed that Isaac hadn’t arrived yet.  I started feeling some contracting on the drive home from dinner, but I assumed it was from the bumpy car ride since I’d often feel contractions in the car. 

At 6 a.m., I awoke to more intense contractions -- intense enough that I couldn’t sleep through them.  I remained in bed and tried to relax, as instructed by my doula, Gaylea McDougal.  From 6 to 9 a.m., my contractions became more frequent.  I thought, “Maybe today is the day.”  I remember sitting on the edge of my bed, putting my feet on the floor, and looking in the mirror.  I took one last good look at my huge belly, brought my hands to either side of my navel, and told Isaac, “I think I’m going to meet you today.”  I texted Gaylea to let her know that I thought I “might” be in labor.  I told her I was sure it would be hours before we would need her assistance, so it would be fine for her to head to church.  I thought we had a lot of time because Damon (my husband) and I worked together at home for over 20 hours before Gaylea began assisting us during Michael’s labor.  Michael’s labor and delivery lasted 49 hours.  We didn’t think Isaac’s labor would be that long, but we definitely thought it would take some time.  Also, our doctor told us that Isaac was very low, so we should head to the hospital when my water breaks, and my membranes had not ruptured.

I called my mom to see if they could come by our house.  I knew they had to go back to Evansville that morning because my nephew and his friend were with them, and the kids had school the next day.  I didn’t want my mom to drive all the way home and have to turn around and come back.  So, we thought it might be a good idea for Michael to go with them to Evansville.  By the time my parents arrived at our house, I was really conflicted.  I had Braxton Hicks contractions before.  I didn’t want to send Michael if this was false labor, but I knew it would be too intense for him to stay if I was truly in labor.  I became really emotional, and we decided it was best for Michael to go with them.  My parents said they would bring him back the next day, which made me feel a lot better since I have a difficult time being away from Michael. 

I have to mention one funny thing that happened while they were at our house.  I was running around with my mom, trying to put a bag together for Michael.  Meanwhile, my 14 year old nephew and his friend were playing Wii.  Apparently, only one controller worked.  So who do they come to for batteries??????  ME!  I’m leaning over the kitchen counter, having a contraction, trying to explain that we have batteries, but I just can’t get to them right now.  So, they will have to take turns with the controller that works.  I hope I have this much patience when my boys are teenagers.  Okay, on with the story!

Michael left with my parents around 11:30, and my contractions were getting stronger.  At some point, I told Damon, that we should head to our bed.  When birthing with the Bradley Method, the suggested laboring position uses pillows in bed.  We continued laboring in bed.  Damon was watching football and timing my contractions.  As the pain became worse, I asked Damon to pray with me.  I wrote this prayer in preparation for Isaac’s birth and asked my husband to read it:

“Lord,

Please align the systems of my body.

            Please keep my blood pressure low.

            Please perfectly position Isaac for delivery.

            Please divinely initiate and carry out the labor process.

            Please prevent me from tearing.

            Please allow my husband and Gaylea to surround me during delivery.

Please allow my mother to be able to arrive in time to care for my son, Michael, during labor and delivery.

           

Lord,

Please allow Isaac to be healthy and happy upon his arrival into this world.

            In Your name we pray.

           

Thank you, Lord!”

I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and told Damon I wanted to get in the tub.  I suggested he eat some lunch.  After all, food is fuel for a day’s work.  He suggested I eat too, but I told him that I had some ice cream cake earlier and wasn’t hungry.  Damon headed downstairs, and I got in the tub.  Unfortunately, this did not help.  When my contractions hit, I felt very claustrophobic.  The tub was too small, and I couldn’t get out fast enough!

Around 1 p.m., Damon returned to find me on the toilet, crying and moaning in pain.  I was moaning in low tones, as instructed in Bradley birthing.  The contractions were so intense that I was really struggling.  Damon suggested we go ahead and call Gaylea for back up.  I called her but was in too much pain to talk.  Gaylea told Damon she would come over now.

We moved to the bedroom, but I couldn’t get in the bed.  I was on the floor, pushing all my weight into it with each contraction.  Damon applied counter pressure on my back and used words of support to help.  I felt like I was having two types of contractions.  The front wave would hit and was extremely intense.  On a scale of 1 to 10, it was a 100.  Then, a second wave would hit my lower back and bottom.  In retrospect, I believe the secondary pain was caused by me holding the baby in when he wanted to come out.

Gaylea couldn’t get here fast enough.  I really needed help with my pain, and I knew I wanted to go to the hospital as soon as we hit 7 cm.  I was hoping that all Gaylea would need to do upon arrival is check the baby’s heart rate and my cervix, then we could head to the hospital.  With Michael, I was at 3-4 cm after 27 hours of labor.  If I were at 7 cm in 8 hours today, that would be an impressive day’s work. 

Gaylea arrived around 2 p.m., and I was back on the toilet.  She helped me into the bedroom, but I didn’t want to go.  I leaned into the wall, and it felt so good to press into it.  I felt very bizarre and remember saying, “I love the way this wall feels.”  Damon and Gaylea managed to get me to lie down on the bedroom floor.  Gaylea checked the baby’s heart rate, which was good.  Then, she checked my cervix.  I was near complete, and my contractions were only 60-90 seconds apart.  She suspected transition and encouraged me to move downstairs.  It took awhile to get me up, and they tried to get clothes on me.  My mind was gone.  All my brain could handle was getting through each contraction.  It was as if I was only partly present in the situation, and part of me was somewhere else.  They tried to get me to go down the steps, but I headed to another bathroom instead.  I didn’t want to get off the toilet.      

They finally got me to the steps.  I stopped on the way down with an incredibly painful contraction.  Damon told me not to stop like that because I could get hurt.  I couldn’t help it.  They were telling me that we needed to get in the car and go to the hospital, but I just couldn’t do it.  My instinct was fighting against what they were saying.  I became hysterical at one point, screaming, “We waited too long!  We waited too long!”  Thankfully, they were able to calm me down.

They got me downstairs, and I immediately headed into the bathroom.  I was grunting, and Gaylea instructed me to blow or use horse lips through the contractions.  I did as she instructed, but it wasn’t enough to stop the urge to push.  The baby was coming.  This didn’t make sense because my water had not broken, and my doctor said, “Come to the hospital when your water breaks.”  Gaylea checked my cervix, and I could no longer control the urge to push.  I was nearly 10 cm with anterior lip, 100% effaced, and at a +2 station.  There was no way we would make it to the hospital in time.  Gaylea looked me in the eyes and said, “You can have this baby anywhere.”  At that time, I didn’t realize “anywhere” meant “right here, right now”.

Damon called the ambulance.  We hoped the ambulance would get here in time to take me to the hospital so I could deliver there.  They moved me to the couch because it is not safe to have a baby over the toilet. 

I was squatting on the couch, and Damon was on the phone with 911.  I could feel God’s presence surround us.  I had complete faith in Damon and Gaylea.  Afterwards, I thanked God for Damon’s medical training.  He hadn’t delivered a baby since medical school, some eight years ago.  However, it was as if a switch clicked within him.  In an instant, he went from my coach to my doctor.  I never wavered in my faith in my husband.  I knew he would get us through this.  I would never wish for him to have the stress of delivering our child, and we will do everything we can to make sure we do not have another home birth because of the additional risk factors of unplanned home birthing.  I know he must have been afraid, but I felt no fear in those moments.  I could feel God all around us.  I knew we were safe in His hands.  

Damon ran to unlock the door for EMS and grab towels from upstairs.  He returned to the couch and managed to hold the phone to his ear with his shoulder while delivering the baby.  Afterwards, he told me that he only heard about 10% of what the dispatcher was telling him.  (We’d like to get a copy of the 911 tape because we’re sure it is pretty entertaining.)  As I pushed, Gaylea applied pressure to the perineum to prevent tearing.  It felt so good to push.  In between the contractions, I was hit with the ring of fire.  (Imagine the worst pain you’ve ever felt and multiply times 1,000,000.  Then, you’ll have the ring of fire.)  I pleaded with Damon & Gaylea to take Isaac out, but they said I would have to wait for the next contraction.  They encouraged me to PUSH!!!!!

Within minutes, Isaac Rockne Abaray arrived, delivered into his daddy’s hands.  Damon quickly removed the cord that was looped around Isaac’s neck.  It was 3:16 p.m.  It took less than 15 minutes to push him out.  I’d say 15 minutes is a good amount of work for Isaac’s first day in this world. 

Isaac weighed 9 lbs, 1 oz, and was 20¼ inch long.  We found his pre-birth nickname “The Rock” to be quite fitting.  He had a full head of beautiful black silky hair and dark blue eyes.  His eyes were so dark that they looked brown in the center.  His head did not form the “football” shape you often see when a baby is delivered.  Instead, it was perfectly round, like a coconut.  In the weeks prior to his birth, I often said to Damon, “It feels like there’s a coconut between my legs.”  Turns out, that was pretty accurate.

It took Isaac a few seconds to take his first breath, as we rubbed his back and spoke to him.  Gaylea and Damon encouraged me to take deep breaths during that time since I was still breathing for Isaac.  My heart was motionless until I heard Isaac’s first little sounds.  I can’t even begin to explain how I felt the moment I heard his voice.  It was a blessing to my ears.  I will never forget it.

Everything happened so fast, and it was a very shocking experience.  I don’t even know when my membranes ruptured.  We assume my water broke as Isaac was delivered.  Gaylea had taken my shirt off to wrap the baby in.  I lay naked on the couch, with only my child as a shield, when the firemen entered my living room.  Someone put a blanket over Isaac & I.  No one could find the OB kit to tie off the umbilical cord, so Damon turned into MacGyver.  He grabbed his sneaker and removed the shoestring to tie the cord.  He’s pretty amazing! 

I delivered the placenta at 3:26 p.m.  It was very painful to deliver because, unlike the baby, the placenta was not helping to get itself out.  At 3:40, the ambulance arrived and took us to the hospital.  I was nervous about anything being left inside my body because I really didn’t want to have surgery to remove any placenta remnant.  Luckily, Damon delivered the placenta perfectly so there was no need for a D&C (Dilation and Curettage), which is a brief surgical procedure in which the cervix is dilated and a special instrument is used to scrape the uterine lining.  I do wish we had a picture of the nurse’s face when she found that shoestring in the placenta bag!  She asked, “Did someone use a shoestring to tie the umbilical cord?”  Gaylea, Damon, and I all responded, “Yes”, as if it was no big deal.

I was up and walking around right away, had a bowel movement within an hour of arriving to the hospital, and enjoyed a nice shower after I got to my room.  Damon and I shared a lovely evening with our son, who only woke us up a couple times to nurse.  We reflected on the events of this day’s work, analyzing every step.  We thanked God for the health of our child, yet prayed that we never have a home delivery again.  Should the Lord bless us with another child, we will certainly ask God to be able to deliver the child in the safety of a hospital, where medical equipment/supplies and specialized doctors are nearby if needed. 

We planned for Isaac’s birth.  I re-read much of my Bradley Method book, I did my Bradley exercises daily for 9 months, I exercised regularly throughout the pregnancy, we hired a doula, we went to all my OB visits, we learned about our laboring options and developed a “birth plan” for our child.  We thought we were prepared.  We had a “plan”. 

Our “plan” mattered little because God had His own plan, and the most important preparation of all was prayer.  During the weeks prior to Isaac’s arrival, I read the prayer above each night.  When my labor pains became extremely intense, my husband read this prayer over me.  After Isaac arrived, we reflected on this prayer and became filled with joy and thankfulness.

If you look back at the prayer I wrote, you’ll see that God did everything we asked.  (Well, I did have a small tear, but that was nothing compared to the tears I had from Michael’s birth.)  God was with us throughout Isaac’s birth journey.  It wasn’t my “day’s work”.  It was the Lord’s. 

I end this story as I ended our prayer above, “Thank you, Lord!”

(In case you were wondering, the only thing in our house that required “replacing” as a result of the day’s events was … the shoestring.)

5 Grain Flax Flatbread Pizza

When I lived in Albuquerque, I befriended a wonderful Brazilian family, the Biancos.  They had four beautiful daughters who, along with their mother, had gorgeous skin.  I once asked, "What is the secret to your perfect skin?"  Mrs. Bianco's response:  flax seed.  The Bianco women drank a spoonful of flax seed oil each morning. 

Over the years, I've tried to implement dishes which include flax seed into my diet.  This includes boiling the seeds in my tea and tossing raw seeds on salads.  Recently, I discovered Foldit Artisan Flatbreads - 5 Grain Flax.  http://www.flatoutbread.com/products/foldit-artisan-flatbread/  These flatbreads are great for sandwiches and homemade pizza.

I wanted to share my delicious, healthy, and affordable 5 Grain Flax Flatbread Pizza recipe today.


Flatbread Pizza with Tzatziki Sauce

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Spread a low-calorie pizza sauce of your choice over the flatbread, avoiding the edges.
3. Add freshly sliced mozzarella to taste, avoiding edges because cheese will melt.  (I haven't used shredded mozzarella, but I'm sure it would work also.)
4. Add fresh basil. 
5. Add toppings of choice, such as organic pepperoni slices.
6. Bake for 10 minutes.
7. Serve.  

This flatbread pizza is served with Tzatziki Sauce. 

I always loved pizza with Tzatziki Sauce at The Slice in Evansville, so I tried to match that flavor in this meal.  Here is a pretty good recipe for the sauce:  http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/tzatziki-sauce/detail.aspx.  It uses yogurt instead of sour cream, so it's healthier.  For even fewer calories, consider using plain Greek Yogurt.  I only eat Greek Yogurt and love it.

I hope you enjoy this pizza with your family!

 

Spring Has Sprung

9 Months

Spring is finally here, and I'm loving it!  It's great for us to be able to get out of the house so much.  This week, Michael went to Story Time at the Bellevue Library for the first time.  It was really fun.  They sing, do sign language, read stories, etc.  We made some new friends too!  Today, we went to the YMCA for more swimming.  Michael can't get enough of the pool.  He liked sitting on the edge and kicking the water.  Then, I would say, "Ready, Set, Go!" and help him jump in the water.  He would screech in delight! 

Steering at Sub in San Diego

San Diego Zoo

Last month, we went to San Diego so Damon could attend a medical conference.  While there, we went to Sea World, a Padres game, and met up with my cousin Mike's family at the Zoo.  It was a great trip, but it went by too fast!

Cheering for Donnie Baseball

Easter at Great Grandma Creech's

Grandpa Nimnicht visited this week, and Michael had the best time with him.  When Grandpa was leaving, Michael hugged him so tight and didn't want to let go.  I had to pull Michael's hand off Grandpa's shirt.  Michael stood in the doorway to watch Grandpa drive away.  He cried a bit, but was quickly consoled by a hug from Mommy.  Hugs are such great medicine!  He's in for even more fun this weekend when Nana & Grandpa Abaray visit.  This boy is blessed to have such wonderful grandparents.

Last week, we found out that Michael is going to have a little brother.  His name is Isaac Rockne Abaray.  When I was pregnant with Michael, we looked through the Bible for names we liked.  Isaac was one of our favorites.  Of course, Rockne was inspired by Knute Rockne, one of the greatest football coaches of the 20th century.  I think "Rock" is a cool nickname too.



Michael's First Good Look at His Brother

 I'm happy Michael and Isaac will be close in age.  All of their memories will include each other, and they will each have a best buddy in their own home.  (That's my hope anyway.)  Being a mother is such a special gift.  Each time I hear Michael say, "Momma", my heart melts a little.  When I leave the room, he will say, "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, etc." until I return.  It is the sweetest sound.

It's sure to be a quick Spring and Summer.  Once Fall arrives, Isaac will arrive as well.  Life with two boys will surely be interesting.  Now, it's time to start planning Michael's first birthday party.  Batter up!  It's going to be a Baseball Birthday!   

Mother's Day - 19 Weeks Pregnant

We're Expanding By Two Feet

It's been a wild couple months in the Abaray house.  Michael is very mobile now and likes to grab anything he can get his hands on.  He especially likes the feel of paper.  He's become such a great eater, and he recently started table foods.  So far, his favorites are lemon, orange, and crackers.  He's also tried various cheese, pizza crust, chicken, orzo, carrots, and pretty much whatever Mommy is eating.


Yummy, Hot Dogs!



Today, we had a wonderful time at Percy Warner Park.  We've been walking there since before Michael was born.  It's a lovely park with a great nature center.  We strolled through the nature center today so Michael could see various birds, animals, bones, and fossils.  Michael has been in there before, but he doesn't remember because he was just a few weeks old last time.  After a few hours in the park, we went to Maggie Moo's for ice cream.  It was a great family day.



University of Evansville's Front Lawn



Last Sunday, Michael was Baptized.  It was a wonderful occasion, and we were so glad so many family members could make it to Nashville.  Michael was such a ham.  He was babbling and giggling the entire time.  The deacon stopped a few times to comment on how much Michael was enjoying himself. 






Michael and His Little

 

I wasn't feeling too great towards the end of January and beginning of February.  We came to discover that the source of my illness was none other than.... a new baby!  We feel so very blessed.  I wonder if, just before Michael came to join us from heaven, he asked God, "Can you send my best friend soon?"  They will be close in age, and we're hoping they will be best friends. 

Super Six Months

Our little Toot is six months old now.  He is so strong and beautiful.  When he falls asleep in my arms, I want to hold him forever.  It won't be long before he's bigger than me, so I feel like I have to hold him tighter than ever.  Damon feels the same way. 



We joined the YMCA this month, and it's been really great so far.  I knew Michael would love the pool. 

The Y near our house has a recreation pool with slides, water sprayers, and a tree that dumps buckets of water onto the kids.  Michael loves to watch all the children.  He is a natural at floating on his back and belly.  He kicks so well, likely because he is ALWAYS kicking.  I love his facial expressions in the pool.  It's clear that lifting him in and out of the water is very exciting.  Now, if I can just find some swim diapers that actually fit him! 



Abaray Cousins



This month hasn't been all funzies though.  Damon lost his Grandma Mary Abaray in early January.  We made the trip to Pittsburgh (really Verona), PA for the funeral.  Although I wish we had met on happier circumstances, it was nice for Michael & I to meet all the Abarays.  It was a very bonding time for the family.  Great Grandma Mary's picture is in Michael's room so he will always know her.  It's important for him to know his heritage and to know who his guardian angels are... his Great Grandparents in Heaven.

 

Abaray Grandchildren & Great Grandchildren



In happy news, Michael loves to keep himself entertained by blowing bubbles, making all sorts of LOUD noises, and (his new favorite) screeching with glee.  He is learning to crawl and is very determined.  It takes great perseverance to move forward six inches in 30 minutes.  We have to keep a close eye on him since he can roll, wiggle, and squirm from one side of the room to the other.

Michael can't get enough of flashcards:  alphabet, animals, things, cars, colors, shapes, etc.  He starts to cry when I end a set, so I have to do more and more!  When I run out of cards, I read him some books until he's ready to play again.  His brain is a little sponge, soaking everything in.  Sid the Science Kid is becoming one of his favorite shows.  He loves the song about charts.  Word World and Super Why are also on the top of his "Must See" list.  He is so animated during these shows, especially when they "Build A Word" or "Get the Super Story Answer".  We love to watch him learning. 

  

His teething pain is doing much better, and he's enjoying Earth's Best Wheat Teething Biscuits.  He also enjoys sharing them with the dogs.  Although a bit mischievous, it is very cute.  I've heard amber necklaces help ease teething pain, so I may get one of those too.  For now, he's doing just fine with the biscuits and lot of TLC.

I am really looking forward to the next six months, but I hope it doesn't go by as fast as the last six months!

Who says healthy can't be delicious?

Over the holidays, two of my teenage cousins were complaining about their mom cooking healthy food.  They were expecting "healthy" food to taste bad, so it did.  I tried to explain to them that, "Turkey sausage is never going to taste like pork sausage because it's not pork sausage.  Turkey sausage can be delicious, but you have to sit down and plan to enjoy TURKEY SAUSAGE.  If you're expecting it to taste like pork, it won't taste good." 

This conversation inspired me to start posting some "healthy" meal ideas.  Damon and I love food, but we realize that making healthy food choices is essential to a healthy lifestyle.  We've begun to choose egg substitute or egg whites instead of regular eggs when eating out.  We've come to enjoy turkey bacon, turkey sausage, and turkey hot dogs nearly as much as pork.  I've learned to make better use of tofu, as well as a variety of fish.  So far, the only dish-gone-wrong was tofu meatloaf.  However, the dogs really enjoyed it!

Here's a dish that is quick, easy, healthy, and delicious:

Ingredients:

1. Aidells Chicken & Apple Smoked Chicken Sausage.  It's made with chicken raised without hormones.   It's gluten and MSG free.  Only 180 calories per sausage link!  http://www.aidells.com/product/27
2. Rising Moon Organics Garlic & Basil Gnocchi.  It's certified vegan, and only 220 calories per serving.  Add a splash of extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar for a fuller flavor.  (If you don't care for balsamic vinegar, it tastes very good with just olive oil.)  http://www.risingmoon.com/productlist.aspx?catid=Ravioli    
3. Pinon (Pine) Nuts . These nuts come from the Pinon, the Official State Tree of New Mexico.  A handful of these, mixed with a splash of extra virgin olive oil can enhance the flavor of many dishes.  http://www.pinonnuts.com/
4. Carrots.  Add a touch of your favorite vegetable oil blend butter alternative, such as Brummel and Brown, and a touch of Lea & Perrins Original Worcestershire Sauce for a flavorful side dish.

          http://www.brummelandbrown.com/product1.aspx
          http://www.leaperrins.com/products/the-original-worcestershire-sauce.aspx

Directions  (This meal serves two.)

Boil water in pot for gnocchi.  Add a touch of extra virgin olive oil to pan for sausage.  Slice sausage and add to pan.  After water is boiling, lower heat and add gnocchi.  Stir both sausage and gnocchi occasionally.  Add pine nuts to sausage.  Once gnocchi rises and appears "pillowy", remove with strainer spoon.  Splash gnocchi with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  It should take about 10 minutes for sausage to cook and pine nuts to brown over medium heat.  For carrots, simply slice, steam, and season to taste.  This meal should take less than 15 minutes to prepare.  Enjoy!


Served with an applesauce based muffin for desert, this meal is healthy and delicious!

  

Share the Gift of Love this Christmas

What better gift is there than love?  I can’t name a single thing on this earth that makes me feel better than giving and receiving love.  As a Christmas gift to all who read this blog, I want to share a book that has made a significant impact on my life:  The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. 

A few years ago, Damon and I each read this book, which explains that there are five key ways to show love: 

1.        Words of Affirmation,

2.       Quality Time,

3.       Receiving Gifts,

4.       Acts of Service, and

5.       Physical Touch.

While reading this book, we were able to make the following discoveries:

1.       Both of us have one or more ways in which we need to be shown love.

2.       Neither of us understood what our primary love language was before reading this book.

3.       In order to help our love survive the test of time, we need to know the best way to show each other love.

After reading this book, Damon and I shared our thoughts regarding which language we found to be our “primary” love language.  Interestingly enough, we had different opinions regarding what the other’s “primary” love language would be.  We found that it was difficult to choose just one, and both of us realized the importance of each love language. 

I loved Damon before reading this book, but I now know how to show him love in his language.  In turn, Damon has learned how to show me love.  Thus, our love grows stronger and stronger with each passing day. 

Because this book has brought us so much joy, I really wanted to pay it forward and share what we have learned with others.  No matter how long you have been with your spouse, it is never too late to learn each other’s love languages.  If you’re not sure what your language is, look first at how you show love to others.  Generally, the way you show love, is the primary way you need to receive it. 

Please don’t think this information is limited to “couples”.  Learning the love languages of friends and family can help those relationships grow as well.

The following are examples of ways Damon and I show each other love in each language.  You may find it sappy, but that’s okay because we are truly happy. 

P.S.  Please feel free to use any and all of these ideas! 

Words of Affirmation

·         Cards & Love Notes – Over the years, we’ve shared countless cards and love notes.  When we were dating, I’d sometimes find cards from Damon on the hood of my car.  Now, I like to mail him cards because it’s really fun to find something besides junk mail and bills in the mailbox.  If writing love notes is not your forte, don’t sweat!  You’ll find great little books of “love notes” near the greeting cards at stores like Walgreen’s.  “Stuck On You Love Notes” is a favorite of mine.  I may stick a note on the bathroom mirror, the computer monitor, or his alarm clock.  It’s a fun little surprise, and it’s a great way to remind your spouse that you’re thinking of him/her even when apart.  (http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/products/?isbn=0740768689)

·         Three Little Words – “I love you.” is a sentence I can’t hear enough.  We never leave the house, hang up the phone, or go to bed without exchanging these words.  If we recorded a day in our home and played it back, I bet we’d hear this sentence 100’s of times.  I hope this turns out to be Michael’s favorite sentence too!  Until he can speak, Michael says, “I love you.” in his own precious way.

·         “Thank You.” – I love to cook for my family, and I especially like seeing my husband enjoy the meal I’ve prepared for him.  My heart smiles every time I hear, “Thank you; that was great.”  If your spouse feels appreciated, he/she will feel loved too.  So, say “thank you” when your spouse takes you to dinner, say it when he/she does the dishes or laundry, say it when your spouse cleans the house, say it when he/she watches the kids, say it when he/she gets home from a hard day at the office, say it, say it, say it!    

·         Genuine Compliments - Normally, compliments make me feel kind of uncomfortable.  However, I love when Damon compliments me because I know what he’s saying is coming from a good place, a place of love.  Working these words (or similar ones) into your conversations can make your spouse feel wonderful: 

Ø  Beautiful or Handsome

Ø  Strong

Ø  Kind

Ø  Fun

Ø  Intelligent

Ø  Sweet

Ø  Funny

Ø  Hard Working

Ø  Sexy

Ø  Great Wife or Terrific Husband

Ø  Wonderful Mom or Fabulous Dad

Ø  Best Friend

Quality Time

·         Activities – We love to go to the batting cages and to the park.  We spent endless hours walking together this Summer and Fall.  We have great conversation, talking about our day, our future, our dreams, etc.  Sorry, going to a movie doesn’t count unless you’re watching it at home where you can cuddle!

·         Dinner – Family dinner at the table with no television is a great way to catch up and to chat about sports, daily news, work, kids, etc.  Plus, it’s a great chance to share some Words of Affirmation too!

·         Pillow Talk – With busy schedules, there are some days that we really don’t get to talk until it’s time for bed.  Even though we’re tired, we take the time to chat because we know that some of our best conversations occur during pillow talk.  This is a great time for Words of Affirmation as well.  Great pillow talk sweetens the idea of growing old on one pillow. 

Receiving Gifts

·         Make it Count – Financially, it’s been a rough year for many Americans.  If you are in a position to purchase a gift, make sure you’ve done the leg work to find out what your spouse wants/needs/likes.  Asking a friend or relative may be helpful, BUT asking for hints or, better yet, asking directly is likely the best way to ensure your partner will love his/her gift.  Remember, you don’t have to spend a lot of money on gifts.  I love it when Damon brings home fresh flowers, which you can find for under $10 at most supermarkets.  The best gift I ever gave Damon took a lot of time to coordinate, but only cost the price of a football.  Last year, I coordinated with one of Damon’s friends who worked at Notre Dame so I could give him a football autographed by Golden Tate.  (For those who don’t keep up with college football, Tate is a Nashville, TN native who won the Biletnikoff Award for nation's top receiver.)  All it took was a few e-mails and phone calls and making sure to get the ball (and golden pen) into our friend’s hand.  A couple months later, Damon’s eyes lit up at his birthday gift!  Don’t forget:  a card can be a gift too!  One of my favorite gifts from Damon was a homemade card.

·         Gifts that Don’t Cost a Cent – Since Michael was born, I’ve come to really appreciate Gifts of Personal Time.  Damon will watch the baby while I take a bath, spend time on the computer, scrapbook, get a massage, shop, etc.  Although I love spending my days with my son, I need to have a little alone time now and then.  Gifts of Personal Time have done wonders for my energy level and probably my sanity too.

Acts of Service

·         Keep it Simple – Although I’d love to rope the moon for my sweet husband, I know that’s not realistic.  We can show each other love by making each other’s life easier.  Here’s a list of simple acts which show love:

Ø  Pick up his/her mess and don’t complain about it.  There’s no “love” in complaining.

Ø  Do the dishes, laundry, and general housekeeping.  Helping around the house benefits the whole family.  The “gift” is that your spouse doesn’t have to do these things if you take care of them.

Ø  If your spouse is at work and realizes he/she forgot something, take it to him/her without complaint.  Everyone needs a little help sometimes, and who better to lovingly help than your spouse.

Ø  If you are able to, lend a hand with home maintenance, car maintenance, and child maintenance.  This is one of my favorites.  I installed new thermostats for Damon after he bought his (now “our”) house.  He loved them, and they reduced the electric bills.  Also, I think it’s so sweet and helpful when Damon takes my car for an oil change or fills it up with gas.  These simple things go a long way.

Physical Touch –

·         Intimacy – This is a touchy one.  (Pun intended.)  So I’m just going to quote from The 5 Love Languages website: 

“This language isn’t all about the bedroom.  A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.  Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.”

For more information on The 5 Love Languages go to - http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/.