Share the Gift of Love this Christmas

What better gift is there than love?  I can’t name a single thing on this earth that makes me feel better than giving and receiving love.  As a Christmas gift to all who read this blog, I want to share a book that has made a significant impact on my life:  The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. 

A few years ago, Damon and I each read this book, which explains that there are five key ways to show love: 

1.        Words of Affirmation,

2.       Quality Time,

3.       Receiving Gifts,

4.       Acts of Service, and

5.       Physical Touch.

While reading this book, we were able to make the following discoveries:

1.       Both of us have one or more ways in which we need to be shown love.

2.       Neither of us understood what our primary love language was before reading this book.

3.       In order to help our love survive the test of time, we need to know the best way to show each other love.

After reading this book, Damon and I shared our thoughts regarding which language we found to be our “primary” love language.  Interestingly enough, we had different opinions regarding what the other’s “primary” love language would be.  We found that it was difficult to choose just one, and both of us realized the importance of each love language. 

I loved Damon before reading this book, but I now know how to show him love in his language.  In turn, Damon has learned how to show me love.  Thus, our love grows stronger and stronger with each passing day. 

Because this book has brought us so much joy, I really wanted to pay it forward and share what we have learned with others.  No matter how long you have been with your spouse, it is never too late to learn each other’s love languages.  If you’re not sure what your language is, look first at how you show love to others.  Generally, the way you show love, is the primary way you need to receive it. 

Please don’t think this information is limited to “couples”.  Learning the love languages of friends and family can help those relationships grow as well.

The following are examples of ways Damon and I show each other love in each language.  You may find it sappy, but that’s okay because we are truly happy. 

P.S.  Please feel free to use any and all of these ideas! 

Words of Affirmation

·         Cards & Love Notes – Over the years, we’ve shared countless cards and love notes.  When we were dating, I’d sometimes find cards from Damon on the hood of my car.  Now, I like to mail him cards because it’s really fun to find something besides junk mail and bills in the mailbox.  If writing love notes is not your forte, don’t sweat!  You’ll find great little books of “love notes” near the greeting cards at stores like Walgreen’s.  “Stuck On You Love Notes” is a favorite of mine.  I may stick a note on the bathroom mirror, the computer monitor, or his alarm clock.  It’s a fun little surprise, and it’s a great way to remind your spouse that you’re thinking of him/her even when apart.  (http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/products/?isbn=0740768689)

·         Three Little Words – “I love you.” is a sentence I can’t hear enough.  We never leave the house, hang up the phone, or go to bed without exchanging these words.  If we recorded a day in our home and played it back, I bet we’d hear this sentence 100’s of times.  I hope this turns out to be Michael’s favorite sentence too!  Until he can speak, Michael says, “I love you.” in his own precious way.

·         “Thank You.” – I love to cook for my family, and I especially like seeing my husband enjoy the meal I’ve prepared for him.  My heart smiles every time I hear, “Thank you; that was great.”  If your spouse feels appreciated, he/she will feel loved too.  So, say “thank you” when your spouse takes you to dinner, say it when he/she does the dishes or laundry, say it when your spouse cleans the house, say it when he/she watches the kids, say it when he/she gets home from a hard day at the office, say it, say it, say it!    

·         Genuine Compliments - Normally, compliments make me feel kind of uncomfortable.  However, I love when Damon compliments me because I know what he’s saying is coming from a good place, a place of love.  Working these words (or similar ones) into your conversations can make your spouse feel wonderful: 

Ø  Beautiful or Handsome

Ø  Strong

Ø  Kind

Ø  Fun

Ø  Intelligent

Ø  Sweet

Ø  Funny

Ø  Hard Working

Ø  Sexy

Ø  Great Wife or Terrific Husband

Ø  Wonderful Mom or Fabulous Dad

Ø  Best Friend

Quality Time

·         Activities – We love to go to the batting cages and to the park.  We spent endless hours walking together this Summer and Fall.  We have great conversation, talking about our day, our future, our dreams, etc.  Sorry, going to a movie doesn’t count unless you’re watching it at home where you can cuddle!

·         Dinner – Family dinner at the table with no television is a great way to catch up and to chat about sports, daily news, work, kids, etc.  Plus, it’s a great chance to share some Words of Affirmation too!

·         Pillow Talk – With busy schedules, there are some days that we really don’t get to talk until it’s time for bed.  Even though we’re tired, we take the time to chat because we know that some of our best conversations occur during pillow talk.  This is a great time for Words of Affirmation as well.  Great pillow talk sweetens the idea of growing old on one pillow. 

Receiving Gifts

·         Make it Count – Financially, it’s been a rough year for many Americans.  If you are in a position to purchase a gift, make sure you’ve done the leg work to find out what your spouse wants/needs/likes.  Asking a friend or relative may be helpful, BUT asking for hints or, better yet, asking directly is likely the best way to ensure your partner will love his/her gift.  Remember, you don’t have to spend a lot of money on gifts.  I love it when Damon brings home fresh flowers, which you can find for under $10 at most supermarkets.  The best gift I ever gave Damon took a lot of time to coordinate, but only cost the price of a football.  Last year, I coordinated with one of Damon’s friends who worked at Notre Dame so I could give him a football autographed by Golden Tate.  (For those who don’t keep up with college football, Tate is a Nashville, TN native who won the Biletnikoff Award for nation's top receiver.)  All it took was a few e-mails and phone calls and making sure to get the ball (and golden pen) into our friend’s hand.  A couple months later, Damon’s eyes lit up at his birthday gift!  Don’t forget:  a card can be a gift too!  One of my favorite gifts from Damon was a homemade card.

·         Gifts that Don’t Cost a Cent – Since Michael was born, I’ve come to really appreciate Gifts of Personal Time.  Damon will watch the baby while I take a bath, spend time on the computer, scrapbook, get a massage, shop, etc.  Although I love spending my days with my son, I need to have a little alone time now and then.  Gifts of Personal Time have done wonders for my energy level and probably my sanity too.

Acts of Service

·         Keep it Simple – Although I’d love to rope the moon for my sweet husband, I know that’s not realistic.  We can show each other love by making each other’s life easier.  Here’s a list of simple acts which show love:

Ø  Pick up his/her mess and don’t complain about it.  There’s no “love” in complaining.

Ø  Do the dishes, laundry, and general housekeeping.  Helping around the house benefits the whole family.  The “gift” is that your spouse doesn’t have to do these things if you take care of them.

Ø  If your spouse is at work and realizes he/she forgot something, take it to him/her without complaint.  Everyone needs a little help sometimes, and who better to lovingly help than your spouse.

Ø  If you are able to, lend a hand with home maintenance, car maintenance, and child maintenance.  This is one of my favorites.  I installed new thermostats for Damon after he bought his (now “our”) house.  He loved them, and they reduced the electric bills.  Also, I think it’s so sweet and helpful when Damon takes my car for an oil change or fills it up with gas.  These simple things go a long way.

Physical Touch –

·         Intimacy – This is a touchy one.  (Pun intended.)  So I’m just going to quote from The 5 Love Languages website: 

“This language isn’t all about the bedroom.  A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.  Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.”

For more information on The 5 Love Languages go to - http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/.

Five Month Funzies

Little Buddy is five months old now, and it feels like he's growing daily.  I'm guessing Michael's around 15 lbs. because we've had to move up a diaper size.  I'm loving how much money we're saving by using cloth diapers at home too!  I got the one-size-fit-all, so he should be able to wear them until he's ready for the potty.

Michael is rolling all over the place, and he's holding is head up longer and longer during tummy time.  I imagine it won't be too long before we've got a crawler.  He's also decided that he loves to stand.  He will stand and hold on to me, which makes putting his shirt on very interesting.  He likes to stand while I help him hop around the room, which we call the "Tigger Bounce".  He still loves to play airplane with Daddy, which makes him laugh and laugh.  Playing peek-a-boo is really fun, especially when he plays peek-a-boo with mirrors.  He just got a new crawl ball that lights up and wiggles, courtesy of a gift card from his Aunt Anita.  (Thanks so much, Anita!)  Of course, bath time is still a big favorite.  I read him books in the tub, as well as teach him letters and numbers.  I'm very happy that he no longer cries when I get him out of the tub!


Helping Put the Star on the Tree



First St. Nick Stocking



He's an eating machine now, and he's tried the following foods:  rice cereal, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, peas, and green beans.  I think squash was his favorite so far.  No food allergies yet, thank goodness:)  Mealtime is really fun and so is playtime.  He likes to watch PBS Kids in the morning.  Pretty much the only time he's still while awake is during Sesame Street.  Mr. Noodle on Elmo's World makes him laugh.  It is so cute to watch Michael's expressions change during the show.  He gets so excited!  

He plays in his Baby Einstein Jump-A-Roo just about every day.  He still prefers to sit up on the couch or play on his play mat though.  We've been doing daily flashcards for a couple months now, including alphabet, animals, and first word cards.  His favorite cards are animal cards because he likes it when I make the animal's sound.  He also likes to sit on my lap while I'm on the computer and try to type.  Generally, he likes to do whatever Mommy and Daddy are doing. 

He visited Santa at the mall in Evansville, and even gave Santa's beard a little tug to make sure it was him!  Since Michael's too young for a Christmas wish, I made a wish for him.  My Christmas wish is for peace in this world and in the hearts of all.  May the joy of Christmas be with you today and always! 

Four Months with Michael

This month has been so much fun!  Michael is noticing everything now, enjoying grabbing toys and his toes too.  He’s sitting on my lap while I type this and trying very hard to “help” by pressing keys and kicking the keyboard tray.  He loves to sit and listen to us read him books.  Of course, bath time is still a favorite.  He would like to kick and splash all day!  He is talking up a storm, enjoys watching Sesame Street and Between the Lions, and has fun listening to nursery rhymes while playing in his room.  I like to play the CD “nursery rhymes & toddler tunes” by Parents.  He gets so excited by the music.  Damon and I have always loved to dance, so we weren’t surprised about how excited Michael gets when we hold him and all dance together.  Michael also discovered his puppies this month.  Monkey and Gorilla make him laugh with giddy excitement.  I have a feeling the three of them are going to cause a lot of trouble around here!  At his four month doctor visit, the doctor's nurse told us Michael is "off the charts on the happy meter".  Damon and I are off the chart on the "happy meter" too!

Something new this month is eating food.  Our first rice cereal meal was very runny and messy.  We thickened it the next time and warmed it a bit.  Michael liked it much better, but it is still sometimes tough to get him to eat it.  Today, he started carrots, and loved them.  Hoping mixing the carrots with his cereal will be a big help. 



Our family recently traveled to New York City for the Notre Dame vs. Army football game at Yankee Stadium.  It was a wonderful trip and not just because Notre Dame won 27 to 3!  (Had to throw that in there.)  Grandma and Grandpa Nimnicht came too, and they were a big help with Michael.  The weather was great, and we had fun exploring the city.  



Times Square

Michael met my cousins, Henry and Angus, for the first time.  He first met their parents, John and Susan, when he was one month  old.  Their family lives in Brooklyn, and they showed us parts of Soho and Tribeca that we’d never seen before.  

Subway Ride

We all ate at this great burger joint called Silver Spurs.  Michael discovered pickles!  The waitress brought out silver bowls of giant pickles, and Michael helped me eat mine.  He just loved it.  Michael also met Damon’s cousin Shauna at Pio Pio.  We enjoyed wonderful Peruvian foods.  I’m pretty sure Michael was the only baby in most of the restaurants where we dined, but no 

First Pickle

one seemed to mind.  He was his normal, happy self and made many people smile.  (He’s got a gift for that!)  We found Michael a Pooh bear at the new Disney Store Times Square.  Pooh is quickly becoming Michael’s best pal too!

We’re really looking forward to our first family Thanksgiving, complete with turkey and all the fixins.  It will be strange to not be in Evansville this year, but that just makes us more excited for Christmas with all the extended family.  (Presents are already wrapped!)  Michael enjoyed the lights of Manhattan so much, so I think he will love the Christmas lights as well.  Time is really flying by with this little guy in our lives, and we are just soaking in every minute with our precious son.  How much we have to be thankful for!



Wowza! Michael is already three months old!


The time is just blazing by.  Damon and I are really enjoying teaching Michael new things.  His current favorite book is called "Look, Look".  The pages are black and white.  He loves staring at the pages, especially the page with the sun.  This book is from Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, a program sponsored by Dolly where children receive one book a month until age 5.  Thank you, Dolly! 

Michael has gotten over his hatred of "Tummy Time" and is doing great at raising his head high.  He is constantly making noise and can scoot around pretty good now.  So, we have to keep an extra eye on him.  In the morning, his head is at the opposite end of the crib from where I laid him down to sleep.  It cracks me up. 

He still loves laughing and chatting up a storm!  He now talks even when no one is talking to him.  He loves lights, especially the TV.  So, we got him some videos geared to his age.  They keep him entertained... at least for a little while.  Of course, he loves to be held and cuddled, but who doesn't? 

When Damon plays airplane with Michael, Michael laughs and laughs.  It is wonderful to watch them interact.  I know they will be best buddies. 

This month, Michael went to the pool for the first time, and he fell in love with it!  He wasn't sure about the water as we got in, but quickly began smiling and cooing.  It was great to see him float naturally on his belly and back (with Mommy holding onto him).  He also loves bath time more than ever.  He wiggles his tushy off the sponge and into the water, then wiggles as far as Mommy will let him into the water.  He kicks, splashes, smiles, and laughs.  As the water gets cool, I am forced to take him out of the tub, which makes him upset.  A friend gave me a tip about warming the towel, which has really helped.  I think he would like to stay in the tub all day!



Michael went bowling and to the batting cages this month.  Damon and I have enjoyed going to the batting cages since we began dating in 2007.  I look forward to the day when Michael can swing his own bat.  (He already has two kid's bats, although he has no idea what they are for.) 

As I type this, he is laying on a play mat that his Nana Mary made for him.  He is grabbing rings and putting them in his mouth... along with anything else he can get his hands on.  His new favorite toys are a blue shaker maraca and Vulli Sophie Giraffe, which he uses as a teether. 

I hate it for him, but he's getting a tooth already.  It makes me sad to see him hurting, but he seems to be dealing with it better each day.  He likes to rub his gums on his giraffe toy or on a wet washcloth.  I massage his gums too, which calms him.  He is eating a ton of milk, and I think he will be ready for rice cereal in another month. 

Overall, he is doing wonderful.  I love to watch him grow and learn.  His smile warms my heart, and I could not ask for more.

Yummy In My Tummy

One of my favorite things to do is cook for my family.  I enjoy everything about cooking:  planning dishes, shopping for ingredients, preparing the food, serving the meal, and (the best part) eating! 

My husband and I can't get enough of this sweet beet salad.  (Inspired by the CPK Tuscan Panzanella Salad.)

Ingredients:

1 can Cannellini Beans (rinsed in strainer)
2 large cucumbers (peel, cut in circular slices, then cut slices in half)
20-30 red (and/or yellow) grape tomatoes (slice in half)
1/2 red onion (diced)
1/2 jar Aunt Nellie's Sliced Ruby Red Pickled Beets* (strain and dice)
2 tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil
6 tablespoons Balsamic Vinegar
1 teaspoon Basil (or some fresh Basil)
2 avocados (cubed)
croutons (optional)

Instructions:

1.  Combine all ingredients (except avocado and croutons) in large mixing bowl.
2.  Stir.
3.  Serve in individual bowls, adding avocado and croutons to the top of each.  (If you put the avocado and croutons in the mixing bowl, they will get mushy.)
4.  Enjoy:)

This salad is great by itself or as a side dish.  If you are missing any of the veggies, don't worry.  It still tastes great even if you don't have all the ingredients. 
 
*If you don't think you like beets, give these a try anyway.  They add a nice sweetness to the salad.

A Day In The Life of Michael at Two Months Old

Right now, Michael is really enjoying his Rainforest Play Mat and his Jungle Friends Mobile.  He loves bath time, and I think he'd like to stay in the tub much longer just to kick and splash the water with is feet.  After bath, he gets a nice full body baby lotion massage, which I find to be very bonding for us.  He likes sitting up and tries to sit up on his own when sitting in the Boppy.  He's still a "supported sitter", but he's close to being able to sit on his own. 

He enjoys lights and sounds and can be amused by them for a very long time.  He will sit in my lap while I read him books, but he is much more fixated in my voice than the book itself.  He does NOT like tummy time.  He gets upset, which is hard for me to watch.  I get down on the floor with him, but that doesn't seem to help much. 

He is generally very happy and relaxed.  Sometimes, he has gas pain, and I give him a little Baby's Bliss Gripe Water.  It's all natural and works wonders.  

We talk to him, and he will make sounds back.  He also jibber jabbers to himself for a very long time, which is adorable.  His laugh is the BEST sound in the world.  He has laughed so hard before that he threw his head back in glee.  I love to see him so very happy. 

He just started wearing Happy Heiny's cloth diapers.  I really like them and hope his tushy will too.

 This picture was taken during Michael's first trip to the University of Notre Dame. 

 Damon and I couldn't be more in love with our little angel.

Michael Louis: A Birth Story

"Every good and perfect gift is from above." – James 1:17

On July 8, 2010, at 10:23 p.m., I experienced the greatest moment of my life thus far: the birth of my son, Michael Louis. Given that I had a LONG labor, I start his birth story here because the HAPPY ENDING is the best part! I assure you it took a lot of work to get to this miraculous moment. So, let’s rewind a couple days.

IT BEGINS

In the mid-afternoon of July 6, I began to feel strong pressure in my rear, the type of feeling you get when you need to have a bowel movement. However, when I would try to use the restroom, nothing would happen. This was odd to me because I had not experienced constipation problems during the course of my pregnancy. However, I was hopeful that this pressure could be related to cervical change. This was very exciting because, as of June 30, my cervix was still closed.

The pressure on my rear became more painful throughout the day, and I also began to experience increased painful pressure on my pubic bone. By 9:00 p.m., I was fairly certain that my labor had begun. Even though I was now 41 weeks pregnant, I didn’t want to get too excited since there were several times over the previous two weeks in which I felt, “I think it’s starting.” Then, I was disappointed when the contractions did not progress. Further, I had Braxton Hicks contractions throughout most of my pregnancy, which had increased in both quantity and intensity in the last few weeks. Thus, I didn’t want to tell anyone what was happening until I was sure it wasn’t false labor.

At 9:45 p.m., I passed my mucus plug (a/k/a “bloody show”), and knew we were on our way! I became full of energy, but felt it would be best to settle down and try to get some rest because I had no idea just how long I might be in labor. I began to put into practice what I had read regarding The First Stage of Birth and relaxation techniques in “Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way” by Susan McCutcheon. Additionally, I reviewed some notes from our sessions with Gaylea McDougal (our amazing doula), which said to try to sleep as much as possible because the contractions will only get stronger. Sleeping was very difficult because I had so many emotions running through me (as well as pain from the contractions), but I did my best to rest between contractions as much as possible. I also spent a lot of time in prayer, thanking God for the gift of my son and asking Him to please protect my child and be with us throughout my labor.

At midnight, I called my obstetrician to let her know that my labor had begun. Since we had planned for an unmedicated birth, I was thrilled that we would not have to go through with the induction scheduled for July 13. At this point, our goal was to labor at home as long as possible. The plan was to try to stay home until 6 to 8 cm dilation and arrive at the hospital when we were close to The Second Stage of Birth and ready to push. I felt this would be the best way to avoid any unnecessary interventions, and I would be far enough along that the change in environment (from home to hospital) would not slow down my labor.

I labored throughout the night, and called Gaylea at 6:30 a.m. on July 7 to let her know that my contractions were 5 to 7 minutes apart. My wonderful husband, Damon, was a great coach, and we worked together through each contraction that day. We walked, used the birth ball, and did a lot of dancing. (Labor dancing involves the mother putting her arms around the coach's shoulders and neck, resting her head on the coach's chest or shoulder. The coach's arms go around the mother's abdomen, clasping hands at her back. Once in position, the mother and coach sway together as if they are slow dancing.)

A few weeks earlier, Damon put all the songs from our wedding and reception on the iPod, which we listened to while we worked together. I have never felt closer to my husband. We used dim light, candles, music, and touch to create a beautiful laboring environment. At 3:40 p.m., I called Gaylea again because the intensity of my contractions had increased. She suggested a warm bath, which was very helpful.

Using the Birth Ball

REINFORCEMENTS

By 7:30 p.m., Damon had helped me by himself for nearly 24 hours, and it was time to bring in reinforcements. Therefore, we called Gaylea and asked her to join us. She arrived at 8:15 p.m. I was in bed, utilizing the Bradley side position for labor. My contractions were still 5 to 7 minutes apart. Gaylea provided me with some massage and used the TENS unit on my lower back. By this point, the pain in my lower back, buttocks, and legs was intense. I was able to relax my head and upper body through the contractions, but I was not able to relax my lower body at all. I had read about back labor and was prepared for that pain, but I was not prepared for the pain that rushed through my legs with each contraction. This pain went all the way down to my feet, and was agonizing. While Damon applied counter-pressure to my lower back, Gaylea massaged my legs. This helped, but every contraction seemed to hurt more than the last. We tried to move into different positions, and the only position that felt good was sitting on the toilet.

At 11:00 p.m., I took another bath. After that, we tried to walk and dance some more, but the pain in my legs made it difficult to stand. I could no longer find any comfortable position. I didn’t want to lie down, sit, or stand. Every inch of my body hurt, and the various labor positions didn’t seem to give me any relief. Around midnight, Gaylea suggested we head to the hospital because she feared I would not make it in the car if we waited much longer.

HOSPITAL

We arrived at the hospital on July 8, at 12:30 a.m. I was praying that we were at least 5 cm. and was devastated when the triage nurse said, “3 to 4 cm”. How could this be? We had worked so hard for 27 hours! I was scared this was going to negatively impact our birth plan for two reasons:

1. Our laboring environment had been changed way too early, and
2. This meant a longer hospital stay and increased chance for interventions.

I was admitted, and there was no turning back. The doctor approved intermittent external fetal monitoring (15 minutes of monitoring each hour instead of the standard continuous monitoring) and a heplock (a small tube connected to a catheter in a vein in the arm for easy access, which is an alternative to using an IV). Thus, I was able to move freely throughout the room for 45 minutes of every hour, and My Team (Damon and Gaylea) helped me through each contraction. Because my legs were hurting so much, I utilized the birth ball quite a bit and also found it helpful to get on my knees and lean over the bed to take some pressure off my back. (This made my knees very sore, and the knee pain continued for a week after birth.) I felt like my only respite was sitting on the toilet. I wasn’t having bowel movements, but it felt like my baby was trying to come out the wrong exit. This was extremely painful and worrisome because we feared the baby may be OP (occipito-posterior, face up with the baby’s spine against mine). An OP baby and mother have to work harder in labor to have a vaginal birth, and labor is often longer and more painful while the baby tries to rotate to the anterior position (face down). A common side-effect of OP labors is excruciating back pain, caused by the hard surface of the baby's skull pressing on the mother's lower back.

I tried to be as encouraging and motivational to My Team as possible. I told them they were doing a “good job” often and continually thanked them for all their help. This helped me as much or more than it helped them. It had been a long haul, and I needed everyone to stay energized so we could work this baby out. In moments of fear or worry, I asked My Team to “focus” and pray to God for help opening my cervix so the baby can come out. I continually visualized my cervix coming up and over my baby’s head. I would close my eyes and see him coming down and out. I would repeat, “Down and Out, Down and Out, Down and Out.” I was determined to get my cervix open so I could hold my sweet baby!

Labor Dancing

Damon and I listened to the iPod music, danced, and even laughed. I got a kick out of it when Gaylea said, “I never knew you were this funny.” We made it a positive labor experience, even though we weren’t at home.

The following is a chart of my labor progress after admission to the hospital:

Time 1 am 5 am 6 am 9 am Noon 2:30 pm 3:30 pm
Dilation 3 cm 4 cm 5 cm 6 cm 7-8 cm 8 cm 8 cm
Effacement 90% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100%
Station -1 0 0 -1 -1 0 0

Time 4:45 pm 7 pm 8 pm 9 pm
Dilation 8 cm 8 cm 9 cm 10 cm
Effacement 100% 100% 100% 100%
Station 0 0 +1 +1

As evidenced in the chart, I had great difficulty progressing after 8 cm dilation. Because I did not seem to be progressing, my doctor suggested rupturing my membranes (breaking the bag of waters) at 3:45 p.m. We had hoped this would help move things along, but it didn’t. When the doctor broke my water, she discovered light meconium (infant's first stool). This made me nervous and anxious for the baby to be born because of the risk of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome, which occurs when a baby inhales meconium contaminated fluid. Additionally, the doctor became concerned of some irregularities on the fetal monitor, so they began continuous external fetal monitoring. I could no longer move about the room, and this decreased my ability to get into different laboring positions. Thus, the mood began to change. Even though our space to move was limited, I still managed to rock on the birth ball. I leaned on Damon, and Gaylea applied counter pressure to my lower back. I asked My Team to “focus” and pray to God for help to open my cervix. I continued to use visualization and repeat, “Down and Out.”

INTERVENTIONS

At 5:30 p.m., my doctor said it was time to get things moving. She said, “One way or another, this baby has to come out.” This really scared me because the last thing I wanted to was have a C-section. The doctor believed it was now necessary to start pitocin. She thought the baby was OP and was not pushing on my cervix. Getting the pitocin was the next step if we wanted to try to avoid a C-section. I was really scared because I knew that pitocin contractions would be different from natural contractions, and they would possibly be even more painful since my water was broken. I talked with My Team and I asked the doctor if I could have a few minutes to walk around the room to see if that would get things going, but the doctor would not approve this. She said it had been long enough, and it was now in the baby’s best interest to intervene.

So, we started the pitocin, and it was horrible! The pain was about 50 times worse than a natural contraction. I could not relax at all. I tried to “ride the wave”, but I couldn’t get on top of it. The contractions came one after another with no breaks at all. I could still feel the last contraction when another one was starting. It was the worse pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I became very frightened. Because they have to give you a lot of IV fluids once pitocin starts, I was confined to the bed. I could not get into any of the labor positions I had practiced over the last several months. There was nothing I could do but lie there in agony. While Damon held my hand, Gaylea would apply counter pressure to my lower back. Because the pain in my hips was so bad, I would have to switch sides after each contraction. (I had hip pain throughout my pregnancy, which only worsened as the contractions became stronger.) Due to the pain from the never ending contractions, My Team had to move me from one side to the other. My body was no longer my own. I could think and feel, but I had no control. The contractions completely overtook me. All the while, I prayed to God for help and guidance. I asked God to protect my baby and to ease my pain. I asked God, “Is this what is best for my child? Is this part of y our plan for us? Are we making the right decisions?”

It got the point where I could see in my husband’s face that something wasn’t right. I was crying for someone to, “Please, help me!” Damon and Gaylea were really concerned now. At 7 p.m., Damon called in the nurse. I had been in labor for nearly 46 hours, and my strength was gone. The pain in my legs and lower back was unbearable, and there was no way I could continue like this. I asked the nurse to please turn off the pitocin so we could discuss the next step. She didn’t want to turn it off at first, fearing it would slow down the contractions. I told her, “I need to be able to make the best decision for the health of my child. I cannot think clearly in this much pain. Please turn it off so we can discuss what to do next.” She turned off the pitocin, and My Team had a great discussion with the nurse.

I had already been doing the “pretzel” position for an hour and half to try and get the baby turned around. Although we didn’t know yet if he was in the right position, the nurse said that there was still hope that the baby could be born vaginally. She suggested an epidural might help to ease my pain enough to get the last two centimeters I needed. She reminded me that I would have to get an epidural if they did the C-section, and I was running out of options. It didn’t take long for Our Team to decide that it was in the best interest of my baby to get the epidural now in an effort to avoid a C-section and lessen the risk of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome.

I prayed about it, and I knew that getting the epidural was now the best choice for our child. By 9:00 p.m., I was fully dilated. Having the epidural gave me enough time to rest and re-fuel for pushing. I asked the nurse to turn off the epidural so that I could help push. I wanted to be able to use my legs and what I had practiced to help get my baby out. We did some practice pushes, and I was a quick learner because it only took a few contractions before the nurse called the doctor. Once the doctor arrived, I pushed through three contractions, and there was my baby!!!!!

ARRIVAL

The pretzel positioning and relaxation from the epidural helped move Michael into the anterior position. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice, but the doctor easily removed it. As soon as the umbilical cord was pulled from his neck, Michael screamed. My husband cut the umbilical cord, and we began to cry tears of joy. This moment was what we had been working so hard for. It took just shy of 49 hours of labor for Michael to arrive, and every second was well worth it! The nurse rushed Michael off so the NICU Team could suction the meconium. Damon went with Michael to make sure everything was okay. Our baby was just perfect, and even scored a 9 of 10 on the APGAR!

As soon as he was done with the NICU Team, they brought Michael to me. He breastfed right away, and I was thrilled to finally be holding this angel I had been praying for. He weighed 7 pounds, 2.5 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. His head was round, his skin so very soft. He was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen! A calmness filled the room, and I thanked God for the gift of my son, Michael Louis.